1 – This explains your car !!…
2 – I never saw one like that before !!…
3 – But it still works, right ??…
4 – Are you cold ??…
5 – I guess this makes me the early bird !!…
6 – Ahhhh, it’s cute !!…
7 – Can I be honest with you ??…
8 – Maybe it looks better in natural light !!…
9 – Will it squeak if I squeeze it ??…
10 – Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes ??…
Archive for the ‘Jokes and Fun Stories’ Category
Top 10 Things Never Say To A Naked Man….
Thursday, September 22nd, 2011Dancers Lapped It Up At Strip Club: Cop
Thursday, February 18th, 2010was just your typical nightclub.
OK, so there was a bed in the middle of the dance floor. And porno movies playing on a big screen — right above the buffet table.
Big Daddy Lou’s Lap Dance Club on W. 38th street was brought to life in vivid police jargon this afternoon, as an undercover vice cop took the stand in a wacky Manhattan prostitution trial where a pair of lesbian sex-act dancers are insisting they’re not that kind of stripper.
“There were also several females dressed in lingerie attire,” Undercover No. 0148 told the judge, describing the June night in 2008 when the two shapely defendants allegedly offered him a $5,000 threesome.
Porn star Alexia Moore and topless dancing partner Falynn Rodriguez say that while they do shake it — in a Thursday night sex show once highly touted on the club Web site — they don’t sell it. They’ve turned down a no-jail prostitution plea and are risking a 90-day jail sentence to clear their names.
UC No. 0148 is testifying in a closed courtroom under high security, due to what court officials described as a “contract on his head” in an unrelated Bronx narcotics investigation.
But according to a transcript of the proceedings, UC No. 0148 told Manhattan Criminal Court Justice ShawnDya Simpson that he was sipping a Vodka and Red Bull when the porn star made her first of several propositions.
“I walked over to the females,” he testified. “I engaged them in conversation.” When Moore asked if he wanted “a dance” with the pair of them, “I said sure.”
“They led me — they both led me to one of the dance rooms,” the undercover said, describing such room as dimly lit, with couches and a bed, upon which he was instructed to lie down.
“They told me they were going to use this bed,” he testified.
Source: SCN Jan 28, 2010
Dark Stripping Secrets Revealed
Thursday, February 18th, 2010I love strippers. The whole concept is wonderful. When I think about the low lights and the bumping bass and constant motion of a strip club I smile. Maybe it is just because I am a guy but the idea of a dozen or so women in various states of undress writhing and grinding in wanting ways for just my arousal is one of the top five things I can picture for any days plans. I really love strippers. But outside of dating a few in my early twenties, I never really stopped to think about the mental landscape they must live in. Then I read Searching for Suzi by Nancy Stohlman.
This book is a fast firing flash fiction about womanhood, sexuality, exploitation, emotional evolution and the world of stripping. It is the tale of Natalie, a thirty something mother who retraces the steps of teenaged beauty pageantry and stripping to search for the first woman she slept with. The trail takes the reader on a ride through time that reveals a life of emotional abuse, squalor and eroticism.
It makes the reader think about the lives of strippers and the esteem issues inflicted on women in a world that tells them that they have to be beautiful. It asks serious questions about the effects our sexuality has on our lives.
Without becoming porn, this book looks truthfully at the world of strippers and gets quite saucy. The shifting point of view keeps the reader feeling like they are flowing in and out of the consciences of the narrator. It forces you to wonder how you would feel if you were 17 and your high school principal just walked into the strip club you work at. It keeps a dark subject light in the right places by reviewing stripper tips, like stripper tip #6: underarm deodorant glows under black light or stripper tip #11: smoking pot in the bathroom only makes the night drag on forever.
Sure there are plenty of dirty words to keep your attention and at least two sex scenes that will make you look around to make sure you are alone while you read it, but better than that is the underlying understanding of the story. It is a story about the scars sexuality can leave on us, and how those scars shape us into the sexy little beasts we become. It is also about the connections that you make in life and how things change over time. It is a story about real life and I am glad I read it
Source: Written: Jan. 28, 2010 scn
North Miami Beach City Council Will Allow Diamond’s Gentleman’s Club to Operate Until Dawn
Thursday, February 18th, 2010Months after closing because of violence, bankruptcy and a suspicious fire, Diamond’s Gentleman’s Club will get a new look and extended hours in time for the Super Bowl.
The drama involving a North Miami Beach strip club continued last week, when the city granted Diamond’s Gentleman’s Club a license to operate until dawn.
The deal comes just in time for it to ostensibly welcome Colts and Saints fans and assorted celebrities coming into town for Super Bowl XLIV.
With a 5-1 vote, the city council granted the club owner’s request for a license to operate until 6 a.m. but only for a three-month trial. Councilman Frantz Pierre was the lone no vote; Councilman John Patrick Julien was not present at the Jan. 19 meeting.
The city last year revoked the club’s license because the former owners of the club, then called Diamond’s Cabaret, failed to maintain an escrow account used to pay off-duty police to provide security. The business — known for fights, shootings, stabbings and rowdy customers — closed last summer after a bankruptcy and a subsequent fire investigators said was arson.
The club’s new owner, Lenny Moore, pleaded with the council at last week’s meeting that he would maintain an escrow account and keep the business running clean. Moore also invested $750,000 to repair the building and give the place a new look.
“My club’s more of a social club where you happen to have nudity,” he assured the council.
Several residents and Councilwoman Beth Spiegel expressed concerns that the club will be paying for two to six uniformed off-duty police to provide club security, noting that if the officers get hurt, taxpayers will have to pay their pensions.
Joseph Paglino, a local attorney who frequents city meetings, told council members he disapproves of North Miami Beach officers working at strip clubs to earn off-duty pay.
“Don’t you understand that you’re taking part in this operation? You’re subsidizing this,” he said.
But council members had a more prominent worry: that the city would get stuck with another bill for off-duty police officers.
Moore, who was a part owner of the club before it ran afoul of city leaders, promised that wouldn’t be the case.
Moore said he agreed to pay $25,057 owed to the city by the previous owner in order to reopen.
Hiring off-duty cops to work security detail will cost the club about $18,000 a month, Moore said.
A deal signed by Moore and the police department states Diamond’s will maintain a $10,000 escrow account, which the city can tap into if the bill is late.
Another incentive to pay on time: Police Chief Rafael Hernandez warned Moore after the council vote he would arrest him if the money is late.
Source: North Miami Herald posted Tuesday 01-26-10
From Clark Co. Star Student To Stripper
Thursday, February 18th, 2010less than a week, a Clark County teenager went from start student to stripper. Her story contains a warning and a lesson for all parents about the hidden sex trafficking trade operating in the Northwest.
Brianna was convinced she had found a boyfriend and freedom. But in less than a week she found herself in a strip club far from home.
Police say she was flirting with something much more dangerous.
Family photos tell the story of a girl who grew up supported by a loving family. She excelled in school and sports. But what happened in December 2009 left her and her parents shaken.
“Living in a small community I’ve never not felt safe,” Brianna told KGW, “and I don’t feel safe (now).”
It was early December when a twenty-something man from Seattle named Nick and his friend started frequenting the local cafe where Brianna worked part time.
“They were really flirty and just really really nice,” recalled Brianna.
Just days after Brianna turned 18, Nick invited her up to check out Seattle, where she wanted to go to college. She borrowed her dad’s car, lied about where she was going, and headed north.
Once she got there she didn’t want to go home. Nick bought her expensive things, offered her a spare room, and even money for college.
“It was kind of exhilarating, kind of like ‘I’m finally out on my own but I have this really awesome guy who’s wanting to take care of me,’” said Brianna.
Nick helped her get a “job.” By her second night in Seattle, Brianna had gone from star student to stripper. “I was there for about four hours and I made $350,” said Brianna.
Nick pocketed that money, along with her phone. She was being cut off from her now frantic family, and tightly controlled.
From Seattle, Brianna called Evan, a trusted friend back home. She had to return her dad’s car, and wanted to know if he would give her a ride back to Nick afterwards.
Evan became suspicious. “As soon as she said he had two cell phones I knew this guy was involved in something illegal,” he said.
Evan agreed to give her a ride. Then he did something that might have saved her life. He betrayed her trust.
When Brianna arrived to meet him, she found her mom and his parents, who had miraculously tracked down former Washington Congresswoman Linda Smith. Smith founded Shared Hope International, an organization that rescues girls from the sex trade around the world.
Smith had no doubt that Brianna was being lured down a path that would end with violence and prostitution. It was too familiar.
“I call it the ‘go to hell’ look – she really wanted all of us to go there,” recalled Smith, who proceeded to describe the recruitment process, “what they say, what they do, the things they would omit” to a disbelieving Brianna.
“I found it annoying,” said Brianna. “Then I realized that all the stories were the same as mine.”
Brianna stopped taking Nick’s calls, and now feels foolish for being so naive. But sex trafficking isn’t something most families warn their kids about.
“We need to educate our girls about what this is and how they get there,” Smith said.
Brianna’s family shared their story with KGW in the hope that public awareness could protect other girls, because police can’t do much. In this case, officers said no crime was committed because Brianna was 18 and, although she was manipulated, she was not forced to do anything.
Brianna is still afraid to be alone but grateful to be the one that got away. “I’m just happy that I’m here, that I’m alive, that I’m back.”
source: KGW.com stripper news
by Tracy Barry






